In Defence of Fall

It’s officially Fall now. Yes, I’m going to say Fall. Mostly, because I learned to speak English through watching American TV but also because I just prefer it. But I digress.

I must admit I have never been one to know what day seasons change over. I go by how everything looks and how I feel. It feels as good an indicator as any and also I truly don’t think it’s important enough for me to bother googling it.

On Sunday evening, I walked through London, gazing up at the trees as the sun shone against the soon-to-be falling leaves. I was dressed entirely in burnt oranges and reds. Was it on purpose? I wish I could say yes and that I felt the seasonal change in the wind and decided to dress for the occasion. But the truth is this outfit was comfortable so I was wearing it at home and I didn’t have enough time to change before I ran out of my flat.

I know a lot of people mourn the summer at this time of year. Especially with how things have gone the past couple of years. I can definitely understand the frustration and ennui that marks the end of summer for some of us. But, I can’t say I relate.

I don’t care for summer. It’s so hot every fashion choice feels like it’s made under duress. The commute could be the death of you. I’m just saying people passing out in a train carriage seems to happen a lot at a certain time of year. Also, you can’t have a good cup of hot chocolate without needing to fan yourself. I mean, I still do it but it makes what should be a great part of my day way more . . . perspiring than I’d prefer.

Fall however is wonderful. Everything’s cooling off and the leaves turn arguably the best colour they are all year.

It’s so calming and revitalising. I’m so happy to be able to dig out my coats again. To be able to shove my hands into the pockets of my trench as I stroll through London. To wear turtlenecks, scarves, and thick tights and start to think about buying gloves. I don’t know why the idea of gloves is so fun. It’s not like my purchase will lead to the plot of Serendipity or I will look a bit like Audrey Hepburn in her heyday. But, there’s no law against hope, is there?

There’s an inherent romantic quality to fall. Due in some part of my constant rewatches of a certain New York based Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan flick. But, also because there’s something about the cosiness of it all. Yes, it’s the colours but also the drinks, the food. Sitting with someone inside a warm restaurant and feeling protected and content away from the cold, enjoying the conversation. It even makes going to the underground a solace rather than a horrible obligation.

Coming back to that walk on Sunday, I truly did feel like I was in a rom-com for a while. It was almost golden hour, the trees were rustling without a huge wind trying to floor me or making me wish I could wear a balaclava. The houses I walked past were so breathtakingly cute and overtly expensive I had to force my mouth closed. It was all four-story townhouses with beautifully cared-for front gardens, front doors in whimsical colours like yellow and vibrant pinks, and adorable balconies. Yellow lights lit up the perfectly symmetrical windows and I questioned whether I had stumbled into a Richard Curtis daydream without noticing.

But, it’s not just romance, it’s also the idea of shedding everything from the year past. I think it’s easy when you’re not a child anymore and don’t have children to forget that this time of the year is a time to start anew. At this age, you usually stick to January and restart your goals with everyone else.

Maybe it’s because my birthday is in September but I always think of everything restarting around here. Having a sister still in school and a friend who is a teacher reminds me that this time of year is a reset for a lot of people.

You may not be going to school but you can start to change with everything else. It may be less daunting than doing a new year’s resolutions list when most of the world is collectively recovering from a hangover. Maybe your goal is to learn a language. Or make more money. Or simply go on more meditative walks where you try to take in the scenery but wonder a bit about how each house you pass goes for on Zoopla.

My ideas for changes aren’t groundbreaking. Cook more. Eat better. Whatever that means.

But also, I want to make sure I take in this time of year. While I have talked a big game so far, I don’t always appreciate these things. I usually run most places because I am late to a lot of social gatherings. But, that walk was so slow and so fun. Even though the disparity between my flat and the mini-mansions I was sauntering past was somewhat chilling, I enjoyed the idea of being a woman in a stylish trench coat just passing through this idyllic street like it was nothing. It was fun to entertain the insane alternate reality where I live in an area like this and could believably turn and walk down the front paths of these houses without someone immediately calling the police.

Even if you’ve got no hard and fast ideas of who you want to be, I feel like fall is the time where you can entertain any idea of your future persona more than ever. You can choose more. How many layers you feel like wearing. The food you eat and what you drink without having to consider if you’ll sweat through your shirt if you eat a hot bowl of pasta. The possibilities are endless.

As my stroll came to a close and I neared my location, for once in my life not late, I considered all the possibilities for who I could be until summer rolled around. I could be a person who goes for brisk post-dinner walks with their doting boyfriend. I could go to markets with people I love and buy hot chocolate to warm us up so we can spend a little longer chatting about life and how on earth we’re going to pay for Christmas. I thought about wearing that winter hat I bought in a sale a few months ago. It was all to play for.

I entered the pub and it was warm and inviting. As my glasses fogged up I made my way to the table of people I was there to meet. I said hello brightly and everyone said hello back. As the fog in my glasses subsided I realised it was a group of ten people I had never laid eyes on in my life. I apologised and promptly walked away and out of the pub.

Even having done probably the single most embarrassing thing ever, I walked a bit and came to a park. It had everything I loved, the trees, golden hour was officially in swing and even with my cheeks still burning a bit, the romance wasn’t totally lost. I considered who I could be again. Perhaps a woman who waits until her field of vision is entirely clear before confidently greeting a table full of people.

As I said, the possibilities are endless.